A Funny Truck Accident

THIS IS A VERY FUNNY ACCIDENT

Gov. Arnold in Smoky Emergency Landing

Action just seems to find the Governator -- Arnold Schwarzenegger's plane made an emergency landing this evening because of smoke in the cockpit.

The guv's plane was about ten minutes from touching down in Santa Monica, CA when the pilot reported the smoke, according to KTTV in Los Angeles.The pilot made a quick, steep, and safe landing at Van Nuys airport, just north of Santa Monica.Everyone onboard is okay. Arnold even twittered about the landing, saying it was, "a little adventure."

Yes. Ahnald twitters.

New Year's Eve Can Be Fun Even When Times Are Bad

The fancy dinners out, gala extravaganzas, elegant dinner parties and theater dates may be out of your range this year. If you've been laid off or your house is being threatened with foreclosure, even a gay home party may seem impossible. You are making a big mistake, because it is in just times such as these that we need our friends the most.

A couple years ago, I was in a serious panic about my financial security, my retirement woes, and my seeming inability to do anything at all about them. I was afraid to spend any money at all, and frankly, was so down in the dumps that it would have been a total waste if I had gone partying. But my friends and I came up with a wonderful way to spend New Year's Eve, that cost us very little, was amazingly entertaining, and is now a tradition that we look forward to doing for the rest of our lives.

Of course, we are in the last third of our lives, so we had no concerns about kiddies at home, or teenagers out at wild drinking parties, or even on the roads with drunks driving around. What we decided to do is have a pajama party.

Now, don't get nasty, or laugh at us. Think about it. What are the disadvantages of going out on New Year's Eve? Number one would be the huge expense, since all prices for dinners, shows, or hotel packages are usually greatly inflated for the holiday. And if you choose this form of entertainment you also need dressy clothing, accessories, a trip to the beauty shop, etc.

The second concern is drinking. At all of these events, it seems that drinking to excess is the major goal, which mean you will feel lousy, both during and after it is over. Driving in that condition is stupid and can be lethal, especially if you live in a cold climate where snow, sleet, and slush will further complicate things. And even if you aren't drunk, there are plenty of them on the road. Of course, you can always have a designated driver, who has a really terrific time pretending it was worth the money to watch you get stinking drunk.

Even if you made it through a really nice evening, where both the food and the entertainment were good, you weren't seated at a table with crashing boors, and you managed to sip your wine in moderation, you still have to take your aching feet and exhausted bodies home. This could include waiting in long lines to get a costly taxi, or, finding your car, warming it up, and possibly having to dig it out of the snow...and then facing the long drive home.

Actually, the hotel packages are a really good thing in this respect. It is far better to limp up to your room and snuggle into a warm bed at your hotel, sleep as late as you like, and have them serve your breakfast in your room. Pricey, but better than that long, cold drive home.

So quit snickering and listen up. What my friends and I do is simply this. In the late afternoon, they show up at my house with pillows, blankets, jammies, a change of clothes, snacks and games. Nobody is on the streets yet, so it is an easy drive. Everything gets dumped in the guest bedroom for the time being, food gets stored, and off we go for an inexpensive dinner BEFORE the streets are packed and they hike up the prices. Jeans and sweats are worn...this is all about comfort and convenience.

Upon arriving home, we figure out our nesting arrangements, which are somewhat simple in my home, since I have a guest bedroom, two sofa beds, another couch, and a cot. But if the party got bigger, I would simply tell them to bring sleeping bags. The champagne goes in the frig, snacks are laid out, and then we chat, play cards, dominos, catch phrase, trivial pursuit, or whatever we feel like doing, including television.

One of the most interesting aspects of this, is that we have, for years, joked about having trouble staying up until midnight to toast the new year. But last year, we were having such a comfortable, wonderful time that we were up until almost 4:00 am.

Once everyone is awake and hungry, we then make breakfast...usually pancakes or omelets, fruit, and whatever side meat someone contributes. By mid-afternoon we are usually ready to resume our daily lives. All of us agree that we wouldn't change a thing for next year's sleepover.

When I think of the ways I used to spend New Year's Eve, I realize how empty and sad those parties were. People get drunk and loud, and spend most of their time pretending they are having fun. We have no "morning after" blues, hangovers, or fear of having spent too much. Bonding with old friends is far easier in small, more intimate surroundings. And if you don't wake up in the morning with a headache and guilty feelings over your behavior or wasting money, it is truly a nice start to a better year.

A New Year's Eve Party at Home

New Years Eve... A night to say good bye to the old and ring in the new.. For many people it is a night of revelry and fancy festivities. At our home it has always been a night of family and friends gathering together for food and fun. When our children were little, and we were much younger, they hated for us to go out on New Years Eve, even when I bribed them with their favorite babysitter, who I had booked months in advance. When our oldest got to be 6, she told me that she all she wanted for Christmas was for us to stay home on New Year's Eve and have a big New Years Eve party with the kids.

From that little request, our family began a New Year's Eve tradition that lasted over 10 years. We invited friends over with their children, family with the cousins and began holding our "Ring It and Sing It " New Year's Eve party. No fancy outfits, no costly dinners or expensive parties and no babysitter. That tradition turned out to be one of our family's favorite holiday celebrations. Now that the kids are older and out on their own, I still get melancholy on New Year's Eve as I remember all the fun we had when the house was noisy, chaotic and filled with kids. We would let them decorate the house with New Year's decorations, get hats, balloons and noisemakers. They would make Countdown Cards for the number of kids that would be there each year. If there were 15 of them, at 11:45 as the big clock on the Dick Clark New Years special would countdown, they would each come parading into the main room doing silly dances or cheers, holding their Countdown Number as the clock ticked down. Everyone else would applaud each one and blow their noisemakers! The kids were always each hoping that they would get the #1 card and be the last one before we all crowded around the television to watch the Big Ball in Times Square drop down to officially signal the start of the New Year!

Sometimes all the adults still gather here but it is not quite the same without all the kids and their enthusiasm to stay up til midnight and enjoy the hoopla of the New Year's countdown. Last year our 2 oldest children asked if they could plan a reprise of our old New Year's Eve parties at the house. Sure enough, they did and it was wonderful and great fun.. perhaps a new tradition is in the making. So if you are contemplating what to do this New Year's Eve.. maybe a family New Year's Eve party at home with family and friends could be an option for your own group.

Five Perfect Sports to Have a Merry Christmas 2009

Christmas day, celebrated as a major festival and public holiday in most countries of the world, even in many which are not majority Christian is a very important holiday around the whole world. All levels of people celebrate it in their own way. Every one has his own idea about Christmas, while there are still some people who don't know how to celebrate it. Don't worry about it if you still don't have any idea. Here I will tell you some wonderful ideas to have yourself a merry Christmas 2009.

Party time. It's well-known that Christmas day is also a party time. So you can hold a ball or party at your home and invite your friends to attend. As an saying goes, you're not the last lonely one around the world. There are two many people who are as lonely as you. So have a merry Christmas together. Keep that misery loves company in your mind for ever.

Trip. Christmas day is the optimal season for people who are often occupied with work. Just have a fabulous trip with your friends or families. You can release the body fatigue and breathe natural air during Christmas holidays.

Video games. People don't have enough time to spend on video games most of the time when they're working. So you can spend your whole Christmas day on playing video games at home. You can take your long-time-no-see console and greet a long-lost feeling relaxed. This is a perfect idea for boys. All boys are video game fans.

Shopping. There will be amount of Christmas promotions every year. Many online stores like to use all kinds of gimmicks to attract customers, such as price-off promotions, discounted promotional tickets, all kinds of cash coupons and vouchers and free-shipping promotions. You can take this chance to have a crazy Christmas shopping. There are many discount goods, such as R4 cards, consoles and so on.

Bedtime. If you have a chronic sleep loss, you can get lots of rest during such a long holiday. But I don't think it's an ingenious idea. But frankly speaking, it's very common.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Hey Leave Tiger Woods Alone - He is Great Human Being

It's amazing how many people don't trust the media in the United States, and I happen to be one of them and I'd like to explain to you why. You don't have to look any further than the attacks on the personal integrity and personal character of Tiger Woods, after he got into a car accident outside his home. The media completely fueled speculation of a cover-up of some type, and that there was more to this story. The reality is that the media loves to burn people down, and their favorite people to burn down are those that they have built up over the years.

However, Tiger Woods is not a normal celebrity. He is a superstar of humanity, a winner, and a creative genius and eminent achiever in golf. He has worked tirelessly, competitively, and he deserves everything he's amassed, as well as the notoriety and fame he has achieved. If we as a society allow our media to trash such an excellent human being, then our media is no longer needed. In fact, I became quite disgusted, listening to all the celebrity pundits, and personal branding experts say negative things about one of my personal heroes; Tiger Woods.

Interestingly enough, I was not alone in my summation, and as I talk to all my friends about this issue, they agreed with me; the media needs to leave Tiger alone, he is a great person -period, end of story. I was quite happy to see that the media had done polls of what people had thought about the incident with Tiger Woods, and they all agreed that it was none of the media's business, that they had no right to pry into his personal life, and he wasn't some sort of popularized Hollywood movie star.

This guy has actually achieved something in life and become the best in the world at what he does because he works the hardest, trains the hardest, and focuses the most. It is no wonder that people don't trust the media. They try to sensationalize everything, and make stories out of nothing. Next time you see someone being exploited in the media like this, turn off the TV, and call the news station and tell them of your disapproval, disappointment, and disgust. Until we do that, the media will keep trashing the greatest people amongst us. And that just isn't right. Indeed, I hope you will please consider all this.

Food one-liners

The snack bar next door to an atom smasher was called "The Fission Chips."

On April Fools Day, a mother put a fire cracker under the pancakes. She blew her stack.

A new chef from India was fired a week after starting the job. He keep favoring curry.

A couple of kids tried using pickles for a Ping-Pong game. They had the volley of the Dills.

The four food groups: Fast, Frozen, Instant, and Chocolate.

A friend got some vinegar in his ear, now he suffers from pickled hearing.

Overweight is something that just sort of snacks up on you.

Sign in restaurant window: "Eat now - Pay waiter."

I thought you were trying to get into shape?
I am. The shape I've selected is a triangle.

The family of tomatoes

A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, "Ketchup!"

Constantly complaining about the temperature

A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.

Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn't throw out the pest.

"Oh, I really don't care or mind," said the waiter with a smile. "We don't even have an air conditioner."

Flyer Bike

This is called HORSE POWER

Top Ten Ways Y2K Will Affect Disney World

10. Accidental switch back to 19,000 Leagues Under the Sea.

9. Screwed up computers report EuroDisney turning a profit.

8. Air traffic control glitch causes Dumbo to smack into a DC-10.

7. The "It's a Small World After All" creatures go on a rampage.

6. The Hall of Presidents keeps chanting "Kill Clinton, kill Clinton."

5. When you wish upon a star, nothing happens.

4. Unexpected power surge brings an angry Walt Disney back to life.

3. "Main Street Electrical Parade" becomes "Main Street Two Guys With Plastic Flashlights Parade."

2. Ticket machine accidentally dispenses day passes for less than $600.

1. Two words: catapulting teacups.

Would you define OCR?

OCR - Optical Character Recognition

A technology that can take written words and convert them back into computer-readable form, provided they're in the right font, using the correct colors sometimes, at the right point size and pitch, dark enough on the paper, and you're prepared to spend several centuries correcting all the 1's that came out as l's, all the O's that came out as 0's, and all the :'s that come out like ;'s.

Bill Gates picks his own punishment

Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever.

Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions. Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a bottle of the finest wine sitting on a table. To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner. Without hesitation, Bill says "I'll take this option."

"Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill.

As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer. "That was Bill Gates!" cried Lucifer. "Why did you give him the best place of all!"

"That's what everyone thinks" snickered Satan.

"The bottle has a hole in it!"

"What about the PC?"

"It's got Windows 95!" laughed Satan.

"And it's missing three keys,"

"Which three?"

"Control, Alt and Delete."

7 Reasons Not To Mess With A Child

Reason 1 A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah.” The teacher asked, ” What if Jonah went to hell?” The little girl replied, “Then you ask him”.

Reason 2 A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.” The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.” Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, “They will in a minute.”

Reason 3 A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year old After explaining the commandment to “honor” thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, “Thou shall not kill.”

Reason 4 One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?” Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.” The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, “Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?”

Reason 5 The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.’ A small voice at the back of the room rang out,”And there’s the teacher, she’s dead. ”

Reason 6 A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, “Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face..” “Yes,” the class said. “Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?” A little fellow shouted, “Cause your feet ain’t empty.”

Reason 7 The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.” Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you want - God is watching the apples.

MJ's Beat It in LEGO

Funny Accident

"What are you doing man"

Sultan of Brunei

3 children are born every second in this world; 

10 mobile phones sold on the international level; 

auto manufacturers produce a car every 4.5 seconds on average; 

and on the level of the human mind = brain cells send 200 directives each second 

to perform the various functions of physical and mental health. 

The world spends 37 million Euros for arms on the international level in one second 

And the Sultan of Brunei's wealth increases by 90 Euros every second! 

No envy please! 

This means around 5400 Euros per minute, 324000 Euros each hour, 7776000 Euros a day 

Implies about 54432000 Euros a week (that's 54 million and 432000 thousand Euros)

Brunei's Sultan Hassanal Bolkiah ... President of the richest country in the world 

Popular, lavish, ... uses gold in everything 

Was born literally eating with spoons made of gold 

Clothes worn embroidered with gold and silver 

These are some pictures of his palace ... 

The largest and most luxurious palace in the world... 

Consists of 1788 rooms with some furnished in gold and diamond-encrusted 

257 bath inlaid with gold and silver 

and a garage to accommodate 110 cars 

The palace has 650 suites ... each furnished at not less than 150,000 thousand Euros 

This requires the visitor to spend 24 hours just to inspect each room for 30 seconds 

The Sultan of Brunei's plane 

Most luxurious aircraft in the world, inlaid with gold 

The Sultan has also a Boeing 747 worth a hundred million dollars , 

and then re-designed as a home at a cost of more than one hundred and twenty million dollars . 

Featured add-ons such as a whirlpool bath of pure gold 

He also has six small aircraft and two helicopters. 

One of the cars of the Sultan of Brunei 

At the special request of the Sultan of Brunei, 

the Rolls Royce company 

combined their car designs with that of Porsche. 

This vehicle is currently in London 

for use during his stay in Britain 

When the Sultan of Brunei's daughter married, 

the legendary celebrations continued for 14 days, 

at a cost of about five million dollars, 

attended by more than 25 heads of state and family members. 

Sultan of Brunei car inlaid with pure gold 

The Princess wears a crown of diamonds 

and carries a small bouquet of flowers studded with diamonds. 

She also wears huge diamonds as earrings, adding sparkle to her face. 

Wikipedia says he has 

531 Mercedes-Benzes 

367 Ferraris 

362 Bentleys 

185 BMWs 

177 Jaguars 

160 Porsches 

130 Rolls-Royces 

And 20 Lamborghinis 

Bringing the total number of his cars to 1,932

THE LONELY FROG

A lonely frog, desparate for any form of company telephoned the Psychic Hotline to find out what his future has in store. 

His Personal Psychic Advisor advises him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." 

The frog is thrilled and says, "This is great! Where will I meet her, at work, at a party?"

"No" says the psychic, "in a Biology class."

THOSE NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY PETS

A man walks into a bar and says "Bartender gimme a triple shot of Jack". The bartender pours, and the man downs it, slams the glass on the bar and says "Another".
The bartender pours another. The man downs it and says "Another".

As the bartender pours the third glass he says, "Mister you drink like you have a problem. Want to talk about it?"

The man says, "Ten years, ten years I've been married to my wife, and today I go home a little early to surprise her, and I find my best friend, MY BEST FRIEND, in bed having sex with her."

The bartender says "Geez, what did you say."

The man says " I told him, BAD DOG! BAD DOG!"

A Funny Animal

Bull fight

Free Kick

Firemen's Revenge

Snake Or A Bump??

TV Cat

Amazing UFO Footage 2009

Amazing UFO Footage 2009

Funny Animal Clips

Funny Animal Clips

Funny Football

SEE A FUNNY FOOTBALL RIGHT HERE